Towards better life, no more good life..

Feel like yesterday when I woke up at 6am freshly and felt like there’s nothing to worry about. Those days brings back my memories of the good life that I had been going thru.

Shortly after I graduated from dental school, I worked in some private dental clinics. Seem promising at that time. But, still I must get the permanent license to do private dental practice. I enroll for serving under the government and soon after was appointed to served in the very isolated area..thousands mile from civilization. No electricity, no adequate clean water, no proper transportation to that place.

No worries, no hesitation at all. I told my family, packed my stuffs, and I flew away.

The place was not bad at all.. the foods were great, the people were even greater. Most of the time I was only weary thinking in how to kill the time that seemed to run soo slow. Life’s so simple at that place.. people lived with simple mind, simple action. 6 months flew away, and I finished my duty in that place, packed my things, and went back home to the capital city.

Soon after I reached my city, I began working at the same dental clinics I had been working at before, and some others new places. For the first time in my life I was in my comfort zone. I had enough money to hang out, and I had fabulous job that made me even feel so comfy.

But by the moment I felt so cozy, I also felt numb and static. Fixed schedule was killing me, and I was so thirsty of study n experience new things. Just 2months after came back from rural area, I got the opportunity to continue my study in Tokyo. The process took around 6months from searching for the professor until officially accepted. Very quick process for the program that gonna last at least 4years. I was lucky..and I can’t stop give my highest gratitude to God for it.

Today, I was in my lab. Like almost everyday during my time here in Tokyo, I didn’t have good sleep last night. Working 12hours a day, in a room equipped with devices working 24hours a day, along with some members who are barely speaking with you… some time it’s killing me.

This condition will run mostly every day, at least 4years. Almost every nite I dream about my experiment in the lab, mix with a dream gathering with my family.. Unconsciously I miss them so much. Life runs so fast in this lab. 1,5 years since my first visit to this lab runs like a bullet train from Tokyo station towards Osaka. Everyday I meet the same faces, eat at the same places, taking the same roads. Since the time I step in this lab, I feel like a treated mouse running on the rotary wheel. Chasing for something façade, half a world away from the finish line. Ironically, mice are the subject of my experiment.

This condition kills me.. as much as it motivates me. The more I feel so despair, the more I smell success. Only smell, not more than that.

The enemy of a good life is better life. I had been in the good life-version of me, and now I am in the process for the better life. Ganbatte…ganbarimashou.